Eight Steps to Finding True Love

09 October 2009

Dating Guide for 2009: Eight Steps to Finding True Love

By Dating expert Diana Kirschner, Ph.D.Special to Yahoo! Personals

Updated: May 22, 2009

2008 is winding down and New Year's Eve is coming fast. You'll blow the horns, make a few toasts. It'll be another New Year's party with no one you really want to kiss at midnight. Another lonely year staring you in the face.

But it doesn't have to be that way. In fact, 2009 can be the year you find the love of your life.

You can create the stuff of your dreams by making a simple shift that changes the way you date this year. You can make a resolution right now, right here as you read this dating guide, to find new love that is better than any relationship you have had before.

For singles, the chances of finding a mate could be better than ever! The average marriage now lasts under seven years, and this means new singles are coming on the scene all the time. In fact, around 16 million people are now using online dating in the U.S. You have a lot of singles to choose from.

So go on, make the affirmation. Something like, "I will find a mate who is just right for me." Here is an eight-step action plan that can make your resolution a reality in 2009:

1. Prioritize Finding Love. Imagine if you didn't have a job. Looking for one would be your top priority. You would spend hours searching sites like Yahoo! Hotjobs, calling recruiters, and jumping on any leads.

In contrast, finding love ranks pretty low on your to-do list. You come home from work, run errands, call your friends, watch your favorite show, and maybe spend 15 minutes browsing your online dating site. Most singles are better at planning their weekend than planning their dating life.

Yet study after study has shown that relationships are treasured above all else when we reflect on what has meant the most in our lives. So make finding a mate a top priority.

2. Have a 'New You' Party. Invite friends over for a New You party where they give you a makeover. Let them go through your clothes, getting rid of unflattering stuff and putting together some hot new looks for you. Find a look that makes you feel great.

Tell your friends you are looking to meet someone special. Email the same message to any other buddies who did not make the party.

3. Work Your Online Dating Site. Throw out your old photo and profile. Have a friend who is a good photographer take 100 headshots of you in order to get one that looks especially warm, attractive, and inviting. Get some opposite-sex friends to help you pick out the best photo and work on your dating profile.

After you post them, spend at least three hours a week looking around the site, sending and responding to messages, and connecting by phone and in person with people. Block out time in your daily calendar to work the site.

4. Go Where the Odds Are Better. Sign up for two ongoing classes or activities that interest you and have lots of singles in them. Finance courses, rock climbing, golfing, snowboarding/skiing, and hiking are great formeeting single men. Single women are plentiful at cooking classes, yoga, and spirituality workshops.

Coed city sports teams are great and usually have an even mix of genders. Look into volunteering for a local or national political group. There are many other activities to consider, so search online, or go to www.meetup.com and peruse their groups.

5. Meet New People. Say hello to three new men or women every day. Assuming you are in a safe or public place, make eye contact, smile, say hi or ask for some help. This is what I call the Marcia Cross Technique. Actress Marcia Cross was in her forties when she met her husband by chatting with him in a flower shop. She now is the ecstatic mother of twin baby girls.

You can start with saying hello to the less threatening types and work your way up to the ones who are "out of your league." You will be surprised how receptive the cuties can be!

6. Date Against Type.

Most singles do not find love with the type of person they imagine for themselves.

Most singles do not find love with the type of person they imagine for themselves. The guy who wants a petite blonde winds up with a brainy brunette. The woman who dates starving artists marries a rich, balding lawyer. Look at photos and profiles that you would ordinarily take a quick pass on. Try and experiment. You may be very happily surprised!

7. Go for a Second Date. Even if you are not exactly blown away by a person on the first date, remember to stay open. You cannot know what secret goodies are hidden in someone just by meeting them once. You have to let a potential partner unfold and show you his/her different sides. If there is any connection with this person at all, give it another chance. Love almost always comes in a surprise package.

8. Open the Door. If you do meet someone and have a really good time, send a quick text or email the next morning to let the person know that the door is open to getting together again. This is especially important for women to do. Write something specific about the date that points to the connection between the two of you or refers to something you both loved.

Now you have your love resolution and plan. Most importantly, commit to the first step and make finding a mate your top priority. Then follow the recommended program to create the love you want in the coming year. Chances are, by next New Year's Eve you'll be kissing the one you want.

source: Yahoo Personals

9 Ways to Make Your Relationship Last

08 October 2009

Apply these simple tips and watch your relationship flourish in good times and bad.

By relationship expert Stacy D. Phillips for HitchedPhoto: Getty Images

Updated: Aug 27, 2009

As a divorce attorney, I pride myself on having saved some marriages during my 25 years in practice. I would very much like to see people work things out, if they can. I have come to realize that if couples try one or more of the following 9 suggestions, they may be able to keep their relationship from hitting the rocks in the first place.

1. Delineate "yours," "mine," and "ours." If you have finances that should be placed in each of these three categories (for example, you have an inheritance and he has a savings account he accumulated before the marriage, and you also have a checking account to which you both contribute), have an upfront conversation about those assets and what belongs to whom. Moreover, talk about your time away from "together" activities, like he wants to bowl with the guys on Tuesday nights and you want to attend your yoga class on Wednesday. Respect these important delineations. Doing so will make the relationship stronger.

2. Carve out time to be together. Sure, you're busy working and attending meetings, but how important are those things if your relationship falls apart? Make time to do things together that you both enjoy. This could be anything from grocery shopping to taking in a movie. Take regular vacations together -- at least a couple of long weekends and, better yet, a couple of long vacations (more than a weekend jaunt). Commit to a weekly date night and make it as unbreakable as that all-important staff meeting at work.

3. Take care of yourself. Spend time every day on your appearance and your physical well-being. Work out regularly, eat healthy, and stay fit. Not only will your partner like looking at you, but you'll feel better about yourself.

4. Make sure communication goes both ways. Many relationships fail because of misunderstandings. Effective communication skills are necessary if your relationship is going to survive. If there is a hint or vibe that your partner is disconnected or you are unhappy about something, do not ignore those signals or feelings. Approach your mate and suggest an open discussion. You may be frustrated, angry, or hurt and so may he or she, but always stay calm and reasonable. Your goal should be to resolve differences, and the only viable way of doing so is through open and direct communication.

5. Criticize gently. Don't judge too harshly. If you criticize, do so in the same way you would want others to criticize you. Be kind and considerate.

6. Never stop courting one another. Gifts, compliments, and a loving embrace go a long way, especially when they are a surprise. Send unexpected greeting cards, slap a Post-It note where you know your mate will find it, keep those flowers coming in a "just because" way. Treat your partner with the same courtesies you did when you were dating. A terrific mindset is to pretend you are trying to win your partner all over again.

7. Keep the flame burning. Keep your romance alive despite the chaos and craziness life can present from living in the midst of sheer reality. Resolve to offer up romantic suggestions for your partner's pleasure, even if only occasionally, like cooking her favorite meal when you know she's had an impossible day, or entice him into a bubble bath with you just for the fun of it. Little gestures like these from time to time can ensure that the flame you once had burns forever.

8. Spell out your terms of endearment. Call out the expectations for one another in the form of the "terms" of your relationship together. Put them in a contract, if you like. This contract will simply clarify and document those needs and wants that mean a lot to you. For example, though he typically runs late, your agreement might specify those times when he agrees not to be late; she may agree to keep her spending at a certain limit, though she typically has little restraint as she traipses through the mall. Discussing these boundaries, as well as your needs and wants, can prevent either of you from stepping over the line and causing irritation. It is often the disappointments (needs and wants, gone unexpressed) that bring down a relationship.

9. Renegotiate your contract. Your relationship will evolve, and your needs and wants will change right along with it. Once a year, it's a good idea to review, update, or revise your contract with each other -- whether it is verbal or written. Be mindful, however, not to allow such a "contract" to ruin your relationship.

source: Yahoo Personals

Four Signs He's Over You

07 October 2009

Four Signs He's Over You

Has your guy been behaving strangely lately? Be warned: This could be his exit strategy.

By Dating blogger Gregory Gilderman for CosmopolitanPhoto: Tamara Schlesinger

Updated: May 22, 2009

Sure, guys are supposed to be the tougher sex, but when it comes to breaking up with a chick, we turn into serious wusses. Of course, we know the right thing would be to sit you down and say, "Listen, it's over." But no -- instead,

we use passive-aggressive tactics in the hopes that you'll hate us so much, you'll pull the plug first.

we use passive-aggressive tactics in the hopes that you'll hate us so much, you'll pull the plug first. Some clues your guy could be taking the coward's way out...

More Dating Articles from Cosmopolitan:

• The Questions He Asks Himself Before He Commits
• What His Cuddling Tells You

#1. He Doesn't Do What He Says He Will

Yes, it's true: You usually have to ask guys about 10 times before they'll actually help you put in those bathroom shelves -- that's typical. But when he promises to go with you to a friend's party and then bails or doesn't call when he says he will, that's a problem. "When I started losing interest in my ex, I intentionally became really flaky," says Bruce, 24. "I just didn't feel like going out of my way for her anymore."

#2. He Keeps Asking You, "Are We Okay?"

Let's be honest here: Single men hate to talk about relationships. So if he starts suggesting weekly powwows, take notice. "I didn't want to just flat out break her heart, so instead, I tried to hint that I wasn't the right guy for her," says Jack, 32. "I'd ask, 'So, what do you want for the future?' Since I knew she wanted a guy who could take care of her financially, I'd say something like 'I don't want to be a VP someday. Money is overrated.' After enough of these talks, she realized I wouldn't be the rich husband she wanted."

#3. He Makes You into the Bad Guy

Your guy starts constantly choosing his buddies over you... and yet, he says you're the selfish one. It's called deflecting. "I'd been wanting to break up with my girl, but I couldn't bring myself to do it," explains Tyler, 28. "So instead, I made it seem like she was a rotten girlfriend by telling her she wasn't giving me enough of her time or accusing her of cheating." See how it works? Eventually, you'll be dying to free yourself from his incessant harping (or so he hopes).

#4. He Makes Comments About Attractive Women

Look, no guy is stupid enough to go on about how sensual some random chick is in front of his girlfriend... unless, of course, he's trying to be inconsiderate. "Once I knew it was over, I just stopped censoring myself," says David, 27. "If I were watching a music video on TV, I would say that I'd never seen a body so perfect. I knew it upset her, but I just didn't care at that point."

source: Yahoo Personal

Maintaining a Healthy and Loving Relationship

11 August 2009

by Michele Germain, LCSW

Most of us want to fall in love, be in love and stay in love and magically live happily ever after... as the story goes. We merge placing our soul in the hands of the other expecting that the relationship will provide all our happiness. We even expect our partner to know exactly what, when and how to provide this.

But fulfilling relationships do not happen automatically and they don't happen when the relationship is driven by a need rather than caring. If the relationship is going to grow we must give it our time and attention. We must each give to the other and not just be focused on what it is that we need. But often the relationship gets puts aside as the daily task of life take over. We barely have time for ourselves with our life schedule, work schedule or kid's schedules, let alone making time to focus on and give to our partner. We become distracted and tension builds up each person feeling that his/her needs for intimacy are not getting met. Each partner is waiting for the other to do something about it.

When a long time has gone by without intimacy, neither one wants to make the first move toward the other. (I call this the big stand off) Reaching out by either person does not take place. I see this so often in my psychotherapy office with couples who have not taken responsibility and brought to the relationship what was needed. What happens then is that there is a great deal to clean up that has been swept under the rug. I have to work at pealing away minor and major conflicts, disagreements, hurts, before I can get to the core problem which is that each person's core need to be loved and cared for is not getting met.

We all recognize that we need to tune up our cars, but we do not think of tuning up our relationships. We take more time with our homes, painting, fixing, redecorating, reconstructing etc. but we do not take the time with our relationships. Tensions then build up.

As with anything we aspire to, the more we put in the more we will get back. Look, for example, at a plant's life. Plants need care in order to survive and grow. They need water, fertilizer, light and air. If we do not give them these essential elements they will wither and die. Relationships are no different, they need certain essential elements in order for them to grow and proper or they too may die on the vine.

Couples need romantic time and fun together, they need a sense of security and commitment, and they need meaningful communication. This will keep the spirit in the relationship and allow each to open to the other to the point where intimacy can occur.

Here are some ways to achieve these essential elements so you can maintain a healthy and loving relationship. Integrate them into your daily life as best you can, but start today.

1) Developing romantic and fun time together. Set up your schedule to include time together. Be realistic with the amount of time your set aside. It is very important to be consistent. If you only have one hour a week, then do not plan a full day. Consistency built trust and connection lays the foundation of a healthy relationship. Both of you need to participate in deciding how and when to spend time together.

2) Developing a sense of security and commitment. Security is assurance we feel when we know someone is committed to love and values us. It's a sense that whatever conflicts or problems we have we will be fully committed to finding the solution and working together in partnership. We show our affection in little ways throughout the day with a phone call from the office or a hug when our partner returns home, or leaving a loving note on his/her car. Giving complements and expressing gratitude when your partner does something for you as simple as taking the dishes out of the dishwasher goes a long way.

3) Establishing meaningful communication. We do this by being open and honest with who we are and what we feel. We make request instead of demands, we watch our tone, and listen carefully to our partner. We share our hopes and dreams. We do this hopefully from a place of peace rather than a place of fear or blame. We express our ideas and goals for the relationship and our individual goals. We help to empower each other to fulfill our full potential and we work together to fulfill the potential of the relationship. Empowering means that we give encouragement support and believe in the other, maybe before they believe in themselves

Changing your relationship will take discipline, intention and courage. Be patient with yourself, praise yourself for all your efforts and listen to your soul sing. As we love others we are connecting with our true essence and being who we really are. If relationships are based on getting our needs met instead of by caring they are not likely to bring happiness.

10 ways to maintain a balanced relationship

23 July 2009

10 ways to maintain a balanced relationship

by Katarina Kovacevic

Being in a relationship can sometimes feel like more work than play and there may be days when the bad seems to outweigh the good. But the most important element in a successful relationship is learning how to work through the tough spots. Arguments are inevitable but just because you and your significant other disagree doesn't mean you're doomed for splitsville. We connected with several relationship experts to get their thoughts on what truly makes a healthy relationship.

Dr. Karen Sherman is a relationship psychologist specializing in premarital, on-going and married relationships and she's got this advice to offer couples:

"Make sure you know the skills to have a healthy conflict," she said. "When a couple is able to do this, they can actually have a more intimate relationship." So an argument from time to time can actually be good for a couple. Just don't hit below the belt!

"Never humiliate your partner publicly or throw something back in his or her face that has been offered to you as something private. These can be more a breach to your relationship than an actual affair." Lesson: what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. Learn how to keep some elements of your relationship private.

"Do not expect your mate to fulfill all of your needs and take time to understand how your partner's needs are met through words and actions." The "you complete me" scene in Jerry Maguire may have had you sobbing like a sucker but learn how to take care of your own needs and nurture your partners – but don't live for them.

Best-selling author Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil was named by New York Magazine as one of the city's top therapists. She prides herself on saving couples from all types of relationship peril, even adultery, and has a 98 percent success rate for saving relationships. Her tips include:

"Give verbal aphrodisiacs daily to your partner," she said. "Tell them they look good, that you loved the dinner they cooked." Who knew foreplay and wordplay went together so well?

"Try to go to bed at the same time every night," she said. "Even if one of you has to get up later for work."

Ladies and gentlemen, it should come as no surprise. Sex is just as important as communication. Thank you, Dr Weil! "Make sex a priority," she said. "Schedule it in. Take turns developing a sexual adventure for your partner. Use sex as a stress buster!"

Susan Barnes is a relationship expert who has appeared on numerous TV and radio shows across the country including Everyday with Rachael Ray and Playboy radio. She specializes in teaching people the art of spiritual romance. She's got this to offer couples"

"Put your partner first," said Barnes. "Put yourself in their shoes and try to think what it's like to be them before making any judgments. Most importantly, trust them." So, the next time you want to go out and party with the girls instead of following through with your set dinner plans, try to think how you'd feel if the tables were turned.

According to Barnes, the language of love comes in many different forms. "There is a fine line between being honest and being cruel. Be honest with kindness and use soft language, don't be brutal." So the next time you're ready to explode, take a step back and reconsider your approach.

"And every night before you go to bed, tell your partner seven things that you are grateful for in your relationship."

"Become unbeatable together. Stay strong together under any circumstance and be each other's rock. You are each other's best friend, lover and confidant. Be loyal to one another and don't let anyone talk bad about your partner."

We've always heard it's important to pick your battles and Barnes definitely agrees. "Stop criticizing and complaining to your partner. If you have complaints try writing them down in a notebook and read them later. You'll be surprised how petty they really are.

Are You In Control?

20 April 2009

agree those are the best signs to letting you know you're in a controlling relationship. I can testify to some of those things because I went through quite a few things with my first and I grew very tired of dealing with this guy very fast. All I have to say is Ladies and Gentlemen if you are in this type of relationship, please get out of it fast because that person is not going to change. There is much better out there for you and if someone loves you they are not going to harass you to do things you're not comfortable with and they're going to treat you as if you were the best thing to ever happen to them and of course no one needs that extra stress on them, because we all know life itself throws enough curve balls to us all. You need someone who's going to comfort you not make you feel low.

In your relationship or marriage are you in control or are you being controlled?

We all have freedom of choice the last time I checked. We have the freedom to choose who we date, what job we have, what we do in daily life, who we marry, etc. But somehow we get in these awful relationships where our significant other controls a lot of what we do. Sometimes we don't realize it's happening at all or we just don't want to acknowledge it.

Not a lot of people are a big fan of being single, so you meet a really great guy or gal and things are going great until they become comfortable. The true colors always come out when one person becomes too comfortable with the other. Here are some signs that you are probably in a controlling relationship and need to RUN FOR THE HILLS!

1. They says they will dump you if you don't do this (fill in blank) so you do it.
2. You ask them if your allowed to go with your friends somewhere.
3. You ask if you brushed your teeth good enough for them.
4. You ask their permission to buy something for yourself.
5. You flat out just ask permission for everything because you don't want them to get mad at you.
6. They are allowed to say or do certain things but you are not allowed.
7. They make you feel like your not good enough.
8. They never let you make any choices.
9. They always turn things they have done wrong back on you, making it out to be your fault.
10. You are miserable!!!!

source: shine from yahoo

10 Habits of a Loving Couple

12 April 2009

by Alanna Webb

Romance is a way to express your love, the icing on the cake... but don't wait for special occasions to express your love. Make sure that you nurture your loving relationship by practicing these basic habits in your day-to-day life. These may seem very basic, but how many do you do? Don't despair ... it's never too late to adopt good, loving habits. Remember, the more you put into your relationship, the more you gain!

1. Say "I Love You" at least once a day. Your partner does need to hear the words.

2. Kiss good-bye & hello. Throw in a hug while you're at it.

3. "Date" your partner for the rest of your lives. Treat your partner even better than when you were dating... Remember that you are sweethearts:

• open her door
  
• straighten his tie
  
• hold out her chair
  
• hold hands when you're walking together

4. Don't sweat the small stuff. You can let his/her bad habits bother you to distraction... or you can accept them, and work around them. Does she leave the cap off the toothpaste? Buy separate tubes... Does he leave clothes laying around? Ignore them, or pick them up, remembering just how much he does for you in other ways. Or, make it easier for your partner to satisfy you... buy several clothes hampers and keep them handy.

5. Concentrate on the positive. Instead of thinking about the ways that s/he lets you down, think of all the positive things about your partner that drew you to them in the first place.

6. Take a breather when you're mad. Don't try to talk when either of you are angry. Take a few minutes to walk around the block, lay down, just get away from each other so you can regroup. A short break will allow you both to stay on track and discuss what's bothering you instead of accidentally making personal insults that you will regret later.

7. Don't use your partner's secrets or weaknesses against them... ever! What may seem insignificant, trivial, or cute to you may be serious to your partner. Recognize what is important to your partner, and don't discuss it with your friends, mother, his family, anyone! And certainly don't throw the words back at them in an argument. A loving relationship is one of the most intimate and trusting that anyone can have.

8. Think about your partner first. If both of you do this, then you can't help but win! Say "yes" to your partner as often as possible... go to that sports event with him, get him out on that golf course because he loves golf, make life easier for your partner, and hopefully they will do the same for you!

9. R-E-S-P-E-C-T your partner. Don't badmouth your partner to anyone! When you talk about your partner, let your respect and love shine through.

10. Find a way to regroup together every day. Discover what works well for you both... eat a meal together, meet for happy hour drinks, skip Leno at night and just lay in bed in the dark, take a walk around the block, etc. You can even mix things up and vary your routine. If one of you is traveling, call home at night just to hear their voice. The point is to spend time together daily, just talking or breathing the same air, feeling connected.

How to Have a Healthy Relationship

23 October 2008

Steps

1. Do not expect anyone to be responsible for your happiness. Ask yourself why you weren't happy? Too often relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames others for their unhappiness. Your life is solely under your control, with your relationship you have to take the good with the bad. You need to give as well as take.
2. Make and keep clear agreements. Respect the differences between yourself, your parents and siblings. Don't expect they agree with you on everything. Reach a mutual agreement or plan, and then commit to it. If you say you're going to Have Fun on an outing, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your family, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety.
3. Develop and Use Good Communication Skills to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a successful relationship. You can't always have both. Many people argue to be "right" about something. They say. "If you loved me, you would..." and argue to hear the other say, "Fine, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having healthy relationship means that, while you have your experience, and your parents and siblings have his or her experience, you love and share and learn from those experiences. And if you can't reach any kind of mutual agreement, that doesn't mean either of you are wrong.
4. Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. A true relationship will consist of all family members who need to equally contribute. Not only is that the only type of relationship that will work out, but it will work out in everyone's favor.
5. Tell the unarguable truth. Be Honest Without Being Harsh, be truthful to yourself and your family. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their parents/siblings. Lies create disconnection between you and your relationship, even if your family never finds out about it. For any sort of relationship to work you need to have trust.
6. Forgive one another. Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You. Forgiveness is a decision of letting go of the past. Let Go of Painful Memories and Live in the Moment focusing on the present. It's about taking control of your current situation. Talk about the issue and try to reach a mutual agreement on how to handle the situation in the future and then commit to it. If you can't reach an agreement, it's a bad sign. If you learn from the past and do not repeat the same pattern, it's a good sign. It's the only way to prevent yourself from more disappointment and anger. Respect your family, when your family members need space, do give him or her the time and space.
7. Review your expectations. Try to Say What You Mean Without Being Mean. Be as clear as you can about any expectations - including acceptable and unacceptable behaviour and attitudes.
8. Here's a new definition: Responsible means having the ability to respond. Respond to the real problem, to your true needs. It does not mean you or your family are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your parents or siblings, own up to it and apologize. You'll be amazed how this works
9. Appreciate Yourself and your family. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to besensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your family that you love them, and that you don't want to argue but to talk and make it better.
10. Admit your mistakes and say sorry. Right after a misunderstanding or argument, tell your parents/siblings to give you some time to think of the wrong and right things that you and he/she did. Tell your parents/siblings to do the same thing and talk to them after 10-15 minutes. Tell your parents/siblings to give you time to talk and explain to them why you were angry, the wrong things you did, the things they did that you did not like and what you would like them to change. Ask your parents/siblings to do the same thing and give them a fair chance to talk and explain also. This will make your relationship stronger and help strengthen the communication between you and your family.
11. Spend some Quality Time With Your Family. No matter how busy you are, there is always an excitement when you do something together, when you share your precious time. Play a sport, eat at a restaurant, watch your favorite movies together. You will feel the magic of connection that you have with each other.
12. Laugh. Not only is it true that laughter is the best medicine, but it's also true that laughter can make a great relationship. In a tedious relationship, it is hard to communicate with your parents/siblings and share humorous feelings. Not only does laughing establish a connection, it can help keep the relationship in perspective. Just enjoy life and each other!

Tips

• Know yourself and be honest with yourself and love yourself -- first! Only then can you truly appreciate and love someone else.
• Take good care of yourself. Treating yourself with respect and love is as important as respecting and loving your partner. Conduct yourself with dignity, even if you're very familiar with one another.
• All good relationships are based upon mutual respect. If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe your partner is losing respect for you, then consider ways of rebuilding it immediately. Respect is the key. If you have true respect for one another, then nothing can go wrong. You just have to find the right person to respect, this is the hard part.
• Ask questions, clarify, don't assume. Do not talk if your mind is not clear or full of anger. When you feel hurt, do not say "you don't love me / you never loved me" or "let's break up" or "when do you want to break up?". You will regret one day. Tell him or her you feel hurt, and ask for clarification first.
• Treat your partner the way you want to be treated. Be gentle and kind. Apologize if your partner feels hurt(but don't let them make you feel bad). Apology does not mean you are bad, it only means you care. When you are full of anger, it will surely burst out of your mouth if you open it. Calm down first, then think it through, then try to talk. When your partner asks to be left alone, do not blame or criticize. Show your respect and support by give him or her the time and space to calm down and think it through first. But do not leave any unsolved problem for too long.
• Be the first to tell your partner, either positive or negative. Trust is as essential as respect. If you want your partner to trust you, trust him or her first. Letting your partner play guessing games may lead to misunderstanding and frustration. But, don't just tell him or her the issue, also talk about your plan to solve it.
• Strike while the iron is cold. Know when to be reflective and invoke principles. When the house is burning is no time to teach fire safety principles.
• Communicate with your partner. Without communication, there is no relationship. Stay in touch by, for example, calling your partner even if it's just to say 'hi' and 'I love you'.
• Avoid any activity that could cause your partner to experience doubt, suspicion or distrust - build your credibility and earn trust and respect by always communicating truthfully and proactively, and always keep your words. In this way, if something happens which looks incriminating, your partner will believe you if you claim you are innocent. Past behavior predicts future actions - building a solid foundation of trust and integrity will take you far. However, ultimately your life and where it takes you is more important than your obligations to someone else. If there is trust in a relationship, you should be able to do what you want. You aren't responsible for making someone else jealous.
• Always make sure to show your partner that you appreciate him/her. Whether it's calling them to check in, say I love you, or just spend your Saturday night together. The possibilities are endless.
• Know when to say no, and know when time and space are actually constructive tools.
• It is not always a good idea to answer certain questions with absolute truth if they bring emotional harm. "Do you sometimes think about your ex?" and "do I look fat in these pants?" are both loaded questions. In a relationship, answer questions honestly, but with tact and grace. For example, "I think you have other pants that look better on you" is a helpful answer, instead of simply "they don't", or "they do make you look fat".
• Remember what you don’t do is as important as what you do.
• Avoid flirting with others, especially previous partners or coworkers. Doing so may spur romantic feelings for another. There is nothing wrong with having friends of a gender you are attracted to; just keep flirting out of the friendship.
• Tell your partner how you really feel about your ex and why you're no longer romantically involved. Don't ever lie or cheat on your partner, however one of those questions it's best not to answer totally honestly is "do you still think about your ex?" If you have fond memories, don't dwell on them, and assure your partner that while you occasionally remember places you went or things that happened, you are so much happier to be with your present partner. Period. Don't launch into a rehashing of the old days with the ex, or talk at length about the good times you had together or things you did together.
• 'It can help to learn the difference between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships' - That way you can see potential problems as and when they arise (Remember - its likely you would see something Unhealthy at some point so don't be alarmed or shocked as there is no perfect relationship because we are all human and fallible). If you see something Unhealthy in your relationship try and work out why this is and see if you can work towards resolving it.

Warnings

• Keep your expectations about the relationship realistic. Marriage should not be on your mind if you've been dating for a week, for example. Nor should you think that the relationship is going to solve all of your problems, or that you'll never be lonely again, or anything like that. Relationships can be wonderful things, but be realistic about them. Just as one can feel lonely in a crowd, one can also feel lonely occasionally when in a relationship - that doesn't mean the relationship is bad, it only means you're feeling a little down. Don't ascribe too much importance to it unless these feelings linger and begin to dominate your days and nights. If this happens, seek help; you may be spiraling into a depression.
• Never under any circumstances stay with a person who has physically abused you. Do not make up excuses for an abusive relationship, "its your fault" it is not. Stay away. If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help, but get out of it. Even if it only happened once, it most likely can happen again.
• Do not assume that any one relationship will be perfect. It is human to experience disagreements and emotional pain. Working past these issues may be an ongoing struggle.
• Do not call it quits when you do argue. When in a state of anger, we can not rationalize and often find ourselves losing control by saying things we don't mean. Hang in there and try to work it out before finalizing a break-up that you will regret afterwards. That said, if you find you are arguing more and more, examine the possible reasons, and talk it over together.
• There is no such thing as a PERFECT relationship. Sure, most of the time you'll be compromising. But don't get shocked or overly depressed because of arguments or fights. This will come for SURE. Without arguments and fights, your relationship will NOT grow stronger.

source: wikihow