Signs Your Ex Is Still Not Over You

15 July 2009

When we remain in contact with an ex, we may sometimes receive hints of attraction from that person that border past friendship. The truth is, we can never truly erase all feelings shared with someone we previously were intimate with. If you're wondering whether your ex still might have feelings for you, here are some signs you may want to look for.

1. Your ex makes an effort to stay in contact with you.
   When your ex is consistently putting effort into maintaining contact, they not only care about you but think of you on a regular basis. Showing genuine interest in your life is a sign they have your well-being at heart, and their desire to stay close means they enjoy your company and welcome your opinion.
   
   
2. You can still rely on your ex when in need of help.
   It says a lot if your ex is willing to help you when you most need them. Of course, that doesn't mean they should be willing to help you every time you have even the tiniest problem, but knowing they have your back when you really need them tells you they still hold you close to their heart.
   
   
3. Your ex envisions you in their future.
   When your ex talks of the future and assumes you'll still play a role close to them, it could be a sign they still hold onto the possibility of getting back together in the future. Of course, it might not mean that, and certainly you shouldn't hold onto false hope. It does mean your ex sees the relationship between the two of you as special, and they should not be ditched just because of a bad break up.
   
   
4. Your ex still sends you a card or present during special holidays.
   This is a fairly big clue that they are still not over you, especially if their present is something meant to be used or worn. Why? Because if they want you to use something they gave you, it means they don't want you to forget them. If their fear is that you'll forget about them, then clearly they still think you're very important in their life.
   
   
5. Your ex has brought up your past relationship in a positive light.
   Your ex might also bring up certain regrets relating to your relationship. As long as they are NOT intoxicated while they're reminiscing about the past, it could be a sign they are testing your reaction to this. First to see if you still indeed care, and second to see if you care as much as they do about you.

The more these signs are evident in your relationship, the more likely your ex is still not over you. However, simply going off these clues alone will not be good enough to know for sure if your ex has romantic feelings for you. The best way to be sure in that case is simply to ask them yourself. It's also a good idea to look at why it is you want to know how they feel in the first place. If you find yourself showing similar signs as above, ask yourself if you still have feelings for your ex. If not, then is it possible they might not either?

by Katie W.

About the Author

Katie W. is the host of True Love Returns, where she maintains the How to Get Your Love Back e-course. Her goal is to help people save their relationship and reunite with past love.

The Steps To Breaking Up

28 June 2009

The Steps To Breaking Up

When you need to do it, do it with as little pain as possible!

by Jennifer Good

Just the words, break up, indicate a situation riddled with impending pain and loss. Even if both parties involved agree it is in their best interests to part romantic ways, there is still a certain amount of loss attached. The best way to approach a break up is to offer the person, to the best of your ability, a clean and clear separation. While there is no definitive way to do this, hear are a few guidelines that may help you.

#1 - Specific Reasons

Don't let them wonder what went wrong. Give them the exact specific reason why you want to break up. It will give them an opportunity to really evaluate what they've done to contribute to the demise of the relationship, and hopefully apply their knowledge to their next one.

#2 - Where To Do It

If you think they will be terribly upset, try a public place that will afford you some privacy, but will deter your partner from possibly "acting up." If at all possible, try to do it some place you can be alone to really talk things through. Avoid places that contain happy memories from your relationship. You don't want to spoil them.

#3 - How To Do It

While following guideline #1 is important, you also want to make sure you are not damaging their ego either. Make it clear to them that the relationship isn't working for you both because you expect different things from the relationship, or that you've reached a line that you don't feel you can cross back over. Take extra care in your choice of wording, but never lie.

#4 - After The Break Up

Your first meetings after a break up can be strained, at best. If you don't feel you'll be comfortable being around them until your emotions are more under control, try a cold turkey break up. Agree neither of you will have contact with each other for an agreed amount of time. Make sure you agree on the set amount of time during the break up process, or the ideal of remaining friends after may diminish.

Your other option is to try a sliding scale approach. Agree to only call or see each other once or twice a week, and slowly narrow it down from there. Agree not to talk about certain things like wishing you were back together, or whether you are seeing anyone new, etc.

If you must remain in contact with them because of school, work or family it is important to remain mature about the situation. Don't run out and date everyone. Allow your partner some breathing room and time to digest their newly found situation. Also, avoid gossiping about what went wrong. It just makes everything ugly.

#5 - Trial Separation

If you are unsure about wanting a permanent break up, try a trial one instead. To signify your commitment to trying to work things out, arrange an agreed upon dating schedule with your partner, maybe once a week. Arrange for the exact dates and times when you are asking for the separation!

Remember, no matter how you do it, or what you say, if you are completely honest with yourself and your partner you both will be able to move on and grow from your experience. Like the common phrase says, "If it was meant to be, it will be."

What are your thoughts?

Share your thoughts, ideas or experiences about this article topic! send some comments