Are You In Control?

20 April 2009

agree those are the best signs to letting you know you're in a controlling relationship. I can testify to some of those things because I went through quite a few things with my first and I grew very tired of dealing with this guy very fast. All I have to say is Ladies and Gentlemen if you are in this type of relationship, please get out of it fast because that person is not going to change. There is much better out there for you and if someone loves you they are not going to harass you to do things you're not comfortable with and they're going to treat you as if you were the best thing to ever happen to them and of course no one needs that extra stress on them, because we all know life itself throws enough curve balls to us all. You need someone who's going to comfort you not make you feel low.

In your relationship or marriage are you in control or are you being controlled?

We all have freedom of choice the last time I checked. We have the freedom to choose who we date, what job we have, what we do in daily life, who we marry, etc. But somehow we get in these awful relationships where our significant other controls a lot of what we do. Sometimes we don't realize it's happening at all or we just don't want to acknowledge it.

Not a lot of people are a big fan of being single, so you meet a really great guy or gal and things are going great until they become comfortable. The true colors always come out when one person becomes too comfortable with the other. Here are some signs that you are probably in a controlling relationship and need to RUN FOR THE HILLS!

1. They says they will dump you if you don't do this (fill in blank) so you do it.
2. You ask them if your allowed to go with your friends somewhere.
3. You ask if you brushed your teeth good enough for them.
4. You ask their permission to buy something for yourself.
5. You flat out just ask permission for everything because you don't want them to get mad at you.
6. They are allowed to say or do certain things but you are not allowed.
7. They make you feel like your not good enough.
8. They never let you make any choices.
9. They always turn things they have done wrong back on you, making it out to be your fault.
10. You are miserable!!!!

source: shine from yahoo

10 Habits of a Loving Couple

12 April 2009

by Alanna Webb

Romance is a way to express your love, the icing on the cake... but don't wait for special occasions to express your love. Make sure that you nurture your loving relationship by practicing these basic habits in your day-to-day life. These may seem very basic, but how many do you do? Don't despair ... it's never too late to adopt good, loving habits. Remember, the more you put into your relationship, the more you gain!

1. Say "I Love You" at least once a day. Your partner does need to hear the words.

2. Kiss good-bye & hello. Throw in a hug while you're at it.

3. "Date" your partner for the rest of your lives. Treat your partner even better than when you were dating... Remember that you are sweethearts:

• open her door
  
• straighten his tie
  
• hold out her chair
  
• hold hands when you're walking together

4. Don't sweat the small stuff. You can let his/her bad habits bother you to distraction... or you can accept them, and work around them. Does she leave the cap off the toothpaste? Buy separate tubes... Does he leave clothes laying around? Ignore them, or pick them up, remembering just how much he does for you in other ways. Or, make it easier for your partner to satisfy you... buy several clothes hampers and keep them handy.

5. Concentrate on the positive. Instead of thinking about the ways that s/he lets you down, think of all the positive things about your partner that drew you to them in the first place.

6. Take a breather when you're mad. Don't try to talk when either of you are angry. Take a few minutes to walk around the block, lay down, just get away from each other so you can regroup. A short break will allow you both to stay on track and discuss what's bothering you instead of accidentally making personal insults that you will regret later.

7. Don't use your partner's secrets or weaknesses against them... ever! What may seem insignificant, trivial, or cute to you may be serious to your partner. Recognize what is important to your partner, and don't discuss it with your friends, mother, his family, anyone! And certainly don't throw the words back at them in an argument. A loving relationship is one of the most intimate and trusting that anyone can have.

8. Think about your partner first. If both of you do this, then you can't help but win! Say "yes" to your partner as often as possible... go to that sports event with him, get him out on that golf course because he loves golf, make life easier for your partner, and hopefully they will do the same for you!

9. R-E-S-P-E-C-T your partner. Don't badmouth your partner to anyone! When you talk about your partner, let your respect and love shine through.

10. Find a way to regroup together every day. Discover what works well for you both... eat a meal together, meet for happy hour drinks, skip Leno at night and just lay in bed in the dark, take a walk around the block, etc. You can even mix things up and vary your routine. If one of you is traveling, call home at night just to hear their voice. The point is to spend time together daily, just talking or breathing the same air, feeling connected.